You tie him up. As he is sitting there screaming, you go out to the garage and get the lawnmower. You go back inside, start it up, and cut him up.
Bye-bye Bob.
We'd love to offer some prize, but, we can't. As a consolation, though, the original IBM-PC version of Bob, and the story behind Bob are below. If you are of the increasing elderly population and take offense to Bob, please understand: We bear no ill-will toward the elderly. Bob is based loosely on a local man, who's eccentricities include random lewd finger-jestures, booing prayer requests at church, and periodically falling asleep in public.
Bob was originally written by (to my surprise) ICTOA, my younger sister. I arrived home one evening to find a .BAS file in my root directory. Upon examination, I found it to be hilarious. I immediately expanded the intro (to make it more funny to those compu-nerds who can only think of playing DOOM-like games and obsessively collecting "cheat codes") to be funnier, fed it to QuickBasic, and sent it out the door. Now, web-empowered, I saw Bob as a perfect application for the WWW medium.
ICTOA, whose interest in computers originally spawned because of a youth summer camp, continues to develop multi-platform DBMS tools and advanced optimizing compilers for conceptual VLIW processor designs. She has a MS in Computer Science from Miami University, and a PhD in Theorerical Physics from CalTech. Thus proving that youth summer camps can set the tone for a lifetime of success, and that I can lie like a dog.
Created: 6/20/96 - T.A. Adjuster and ICTOA.