Needlessly abject

I am not a teenager. I play one on the Internet.



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Motorized Garden Gnomes?

I'm flying out of CMH on 20071017, and I'm flying for the first time. My air travel expectations, pre- and post-20010911 have always been something like: I'll be lucky if I actually get to fly and luckier still if my checked bags show up. I've always assumed that I'm going to get bumped from my flight, somehow. My bags will be lost (while containing, no doubt, irreplaceable items of great sentimental value), and I'll be stuck sleeping in some stupid airport.

Arriving late at ATL inbound from ORL (where the flight was delayed for no particular reason that was explained to us lowly passengers-- erm-- paying Customers) and missing my connection to DAY did nothing to improve my opinion of air travel. Having my 11 y/o sister in tow made it even less fun. Finding out at 1 o'clock in the morning, after waiting in 2 long lines for over 3 hours, that we weren't going to get to fly until 6 o'clock was even less fun. Having to be back from our "discounted" hotel room by 4 o'clock to clear security in time to catch the next available flight back to DAY was just icing on the cake.

If I'd been alone, I'd have probably slept in the terminal, but that wasn't an option with my kid sister there. That wouldn't have made it any better-- just cheaper. As it stands, I put the airline industry, in terms of the corporate adherence to the ethic of 'shit on your Customer' just above, say, wireless telephone network operators.

To my mind, if I want to be sure that I'm somewhere at a specific point in time, I'd drive, and leave plenty of time for traffic. Air travel, I assume, is unreliable and likely to leave me stranded somewhere. With the crazy security theatre antics that abound today, I'm even more jumpy than usual. Added to the very real and significant fear that I have of being mistreated by my airline itself is the possibility that I could get arrested, fined, cavity-searched, shipped to an off-shore prison, or made into an un-person by the TSA. Great fun.

So, with all that in mind, I'm reading the page for baggage, and I come across this tiny gem of humor.

The following items may not be carried in any baggage, checked or unchecked:

Paints, Christmas crackers, items with internal combustion engines such as chainsaws, model aircraft, lawnmowers, motorized garden gnomes, etc.

Ain't that a kick in the pants? I wonder if anybody else has ever noticed this. Using our friend Gooooogle, I can find no other pages containing the phrase .

I'm really not sure what to make of "Christmas crackers", either.

Skybus seems to have a certain air of smartassedness about them. We'll see how they actually do in getting me to where I need to go.

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